She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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