I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize