is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So here I am, sexting at work.
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