He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
