my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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