Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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