It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
