from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
