All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's never too late to be topless.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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