wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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