The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
tell me about the fingering
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