If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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