You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
