His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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