wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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