it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
