I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
