I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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