i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize