there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
