First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
