he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This is my gift to your gina
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
