i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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