I smell stomach acid.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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