Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
