Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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