nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
