You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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