They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
