I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
