The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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