should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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