"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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