Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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