I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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