i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
