Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I smell like Dick and happiness
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
