READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
