How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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