Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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