my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
