They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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