i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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