My room smells like vodka and shame
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
And then he peed in my hair
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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