Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
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