sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
