Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize