brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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