So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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