...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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