We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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