if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
