If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Someone shit on the floor
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
