i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
