There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
