Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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