Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
