suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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