maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
