fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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